he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
