new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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