i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
