The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
