Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
