U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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