I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
