I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
