Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
