you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
