whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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