STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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