she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
