why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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