forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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