I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
