one might say we're banned from that church
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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