I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
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