just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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