Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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