its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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