i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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