Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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