I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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