"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
