You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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