We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
