I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Dignity is for republicans.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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