what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
