Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
