Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
