Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
