Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
