Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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