Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
