you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
