He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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