You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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