The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
