It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
