I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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