i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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