no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize