if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
