it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
