only if we run a train.
done.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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