Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
