You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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