i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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