i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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