I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
