He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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