dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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