U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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