Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
