i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
