My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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