Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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