my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
