I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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