I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize
