dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
