I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
